So, your Spanish is starting to pick up and you’re becoming more fluent and your quite happy with yourself. However, you still feel there’s a certain native-like touch missing, especially when you want to express strong emotions like anger, annoyance, or extreme happiness. You need some spicy slang and give your academic Spanish a break. Well, we are here to help you with just that! We only ask that you keep an open mind because many of these expressions are quite vulgar.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you…
1. Ni de coña
Literal translation: Not even joking
Use: No way
When someone dares you to do something that you’d never do, this is the perfect one to use. It’s similar to the English expressions “When pigs fly”, “Not even in your wildest dreams”, or like Americans say; “No way, José”. Although coña is derived from coño, the vulgar term for vagina, it means joke in modern-day Spanish.
Example: No lo hago, ¡Ni de coña!…
= Hell no I’m not doing it. Not even in your wildest dreams!
2. Me cago en tus Muertos
Literal translation: I shit on thy dead
Use: Up yours / Go to hell
Looking for the perfect way to express extreme anger towards another human being? There isn’t a much better (or worse) way than with this expression which will send a chill down your spine. Beware, this expression is one of the rudest and most vulgar of them all. Use this one with extreme caution, and please, don’t go pooing on anyone’s dead body.
Example: ¿!Te acostaste con mi mujer?! ¡Me cago en tus muertos, gilipollas !
= You slept with my wife?! Go to hell you bloody a**hole!
3. ¿Qué coño?
Literal translation: What the vagina?
Use: What the f***?
This one is usually followed by something, such as: ¿Qué coño estás haciendo? = What the f*** are you doing? As explained earlier, coño literally refers to the female gender but rarely actually refers to anyone’s private parts. That makes this a great one for everyday use.
Example: ¿Qué coño es eso? = What the f*** is that?
Literal translation: Touches balls/ Ball toucher
This hilarious Spanish insult comes from a combination of the verb tocar meaning to touch and pelotas meaning balls. Of course, by balls we mean male testicles. But don’t worry, you don’t have to be a man to use this expression, Spanish women use it all the time!
Example: Mario est tocapelotas, me molesta.
= Mario is a ballbuster, he’s annoying me.
5. Dar el coñazo
Literal translation: To give the big vagina (pussy)
Use: To give someone shit / to bitch
When you “dar el coñazo” it means you are annoying someone and getting on their nerves. You can use it when someone gets stuck on a heavy topic and goes on and on about it. However, it’s one of the lighter expressions on this list, so if you hear it, you needn’t be shocked.
Example: Se ha pasado el día dándome el coñazo con preguntas tontas.
= He just went on and on all day giving me shit and asking stupid questions.
6. Teta de monja
Literal translation: A nun’s tit
This will probably be one of your favorite new Spanish expressions thanks to its ridiculousness. It’s not at all logical and has nothing to do with anyone’s breasts… It’s basically used to express positivity and excitement about something. I’m not really sure how the Spaniards came up with this one…
Example: Wow esos panqueques te quedaron como teta de monja.
= Wow those pancakes turned out super awesome!
7. Echar un polvo
Literal translation: To throw a powder
Use: To hook up
This is quite the tricky one because despite its appearance, it’s 100% sexual! How in the world could this possibly be related to having sex? The Spanish probably don’t even know where this expression comes from. Nevertheless, one thing is for sure, they definitely use it! Also, if you’re talking about a romantic evening, you might want to avoid this one.